Leaving California

It's July 9th. My official last day at work is August 14th, which means I'm moving across the country in a month.

It's sticky to say that out loud because I'm still working from home with my standing desk. There are pens and weaving needles scattered around me - a reminder of how my need for creativity seeps into my 9-to-5 without my conscious awareness. I'm still shopping at the same Trader Joe's. Still running the same route around the elementary school track. Still talking to my therapist on Zoom every week. It feels like I'm still spinning in the same dizzy circles because of Covid-19.

All of that is coming to an end. Soon, I'll rip up the anchor that tethered me to California. Gather the last three years into my arms, and scatter the memories on the ground in front of me. How do you pack up the person you are? The person you became, hard-earned.

I left Baja California, Mexico, in 2017. I started a full time tech job that May. And now, we're packing up to leave this August.

I'm going to miss so much about California. I'll miss Kimchi, my roommate's big, affectionate ginger cat. I'm going to miss going to the farmer's market in the mornings before it gets too hot.

I'll miss the trails. The winding hills of Rancho San Antonio, with its salamanders and proudly puffed-up wild turkeys. But most of all I'll miss the people who molded me into who I am today.

Braver, bolder, and more self-assured.

Capable of taking risks, like moving from the west coast to the east coast. It was in California that I first started volunteering at a domestic violence shelter. I'll miss the clients I connected with, who trusted me while we made art together.

In the immortal words of Christopher Robbins, "how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

July's Too Hot - My Monthly Playlist

This playlist covers a mixture of indie pop, alternative rock, and genre-benders.

"Pressure to party / going to say in / nothing good can from me drinking / I would take shoes off / run straight back to you / I know where you live / I used to live there too" Julia Jacklin, Pressure to Party

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